flying off le..

hey ppl.. mii flying off tml le... kinda of very happy tat i wont be at home for 12 days... dun need to stay at home.. can be wif all my sch frenz.. erm.. mii juz hate home... hate home... parents are juz so unreasonable...

FCM camp

Hiyo... haven't posted for AGES...

Well, FCM camp was really fun camp,... and the camp itself was a foretaste of heaven to come. Really, I enjoyed the fellowship there, and it feels good to be one of the youngest there again, to be the one on the receiving end.. Although that will not last for long, because starting next year, I might have to be taking up leadership positions, and perhaps even a position in the camp committee.

I kinda feel myself being pushed into expectations, since i'm now the second oldest guy in YF, with desmond gone to NS, and with Josh and Emerson in army. Well, while Joshua and Emerson can come back from time to time, that doesn't erase the fact that they will be gone one day. And I just talked to Samuel, from True Life (one of the FCMers) about it... And he gave me a lot of good advice. Well, it's a long time since I was last able to bare my heart out to anyone like this, and it feels so good that he was able to give me appropriate counsel and encouragement.

Well, Definitely, I would wish this YF grows, even amidst these troubling times, into a YF in which the fellowship is this warm. However, one bugging thing is whether we can all keep the YF intact as the younger ones grow to the state of spiritual maturity, or whether by that time, only the most faithful will stay. Well, this situation is already reflected in how often people visit this blog, and even if they do visit, I really question in my heart if they read what others post besides posting their own five-or-six liner post describing school and life and that's it. It certainly pains me to see people reject our Lord and Saviour, but it pains me all the more to see Christians themselves slowly begin to neglect our Lord and Christ.

I tend to compare a lot. Pardon me. But as a younger brother would look to his older brother is how I would our YF look up to FCM.

many a hurting word. where is our christian love?

Well, it disappointed me further... to see a certain brother.. using such hurting words, which were aimed at another. intentionally or unintentionally, he said the sentance not just once, not twice, but many times in that short time frame.. and it totally disgusted me. gone were the days where each conversation became edifying... gone were those good old days.

Now all people talk about is school. School work. boring. can't you guys get any more interesting? I mean, school work is only one tiny portion of the infinity of God's creation. while perhaps an arcane understanding of mathematics in it's form and relevance (not just in understanding how to do A math questions)is the second highest form of knowledge on earth... we must understand that it, along with the third, fourth and all the rest will perish one day.. leaving only the highest form of knowledge. That is the knowledge of God. His word.

I mean... I found the infinity of creation just so astounding. a clear understanding of God's word actually explains many things we see in life. Even quantum physics can find it's small link to God's word. While many quantum physicists deny the existence of God, (they are of all men, fools. you'll see why.)quantum physics shows even more in depth the greatness of God. The foolishness of God is wisdom of men, and yet these foolish physicists still refuse to acknowledge the greatness of God. The arcane mystery surrounding the intelligent design on which this earth is built and run. Physicists over the centuries have taken much time explaining the three dimensions, (thats where our 3d comes from). but the fourth dimension(time) they can barely hope to explain. God but created it (time) with but a sentance. (I believe God could create it without speaking if he wanted to.) All these complex physics, higher schools of learning, the ultimatum of human intelligence we as students can but struggle to grasp.. is the foolishness of God? surely this shows how worthless the work we engage in school is. Why keep harping on it? I think more profitable edifying conversations are.

It's sad that somehow, schoolwork has crept into our fellowship. And somehow, this has led to greater academic competition. i believe that was the reason behind that brother using those hurting words. Where is love in this fellowship?

With all that, insensitivity has crept in too. Few are those who truly care about how the person next to them feel. Few truly enquire; from the number of people who post long posts here.. I guess you can tell (that's a pretty good gauge). gone was the time where people really share their hearts out. Now it's but a few sentances going 'oh.. i'm having exams now. very stressed. ok the end.'. Gone were the times where people went 'oh, you know, God has been so gracious to me over this past week. This happened and yet im stil ok.. blah blah..' so much more indepth into their lives. So much warmer.

i'm feeling really sad to see this fellowship heading this way. in writing this.. I appeal to all who read..... to make an effort to reach out to your fellow man.

Sad

I kinda feel i'm fighting this battle alone. Can anyone feel as vividly as me, how spiritually lukewarm this YF has become? yet somehow, in my quest, I have yet to find someone who shares this feeling. Perhaps my shepherd (whom I suspect will be reading this quite soon) is the only one I know about so far who shares this understanding.

I feel that i'm filling a role that i'm not yet mature to fill. Yet if I don't fill this role, nobody would. But yet, i'm not fully mature to fill it. Like, I have always been in the shelter of older bros and siss in Christ. Suddenly, with Lionel and Andy leaving...suddenly i'm the third oldest guy who attends YF regularly. Desmond is hanging around for awhile.. but he'll probably be in YAF soon enough. As will most of hte people who are currently older than me.. Even Li Jin.

I pray that Lionel will come back soon. Jeff too. Andy as well...

I pray that God will give me the strength... the strength to do what I need to.. The strength to make a difference. The maturity too.